Tuesday, February 26, 2008 @1:57 PM
I have been sick with flu for the past week. As in very very serious flu. I have never felt so sick for years...for about 4 days, I felt so bad I just couldn't do anything but lie in bed and feel really bad. I couldn't go to lab, couldn't do my homework, couldn't read anything I want, couldn't use the computer....it felt just so bad.
There was times it felt so bad I thought I'm going to die from the sickness. That was when I decided seriously I need to go to the doctor. And I was diagnosed with flu and told to go home and get plenty of rest, drink plenty of water.
The worst part about being sick is I felt very lonely. I realized that I'm actually quite an independent person normally, and do not like to ask people for help because I don't want to depend on others. However, when I was sick for those few painful days, I really really wanted someone to help me. I miss my home so much because I know if I were at home, my parents can take care of me. Even when I'm feeling better now, i can never forget the times when I was running a fever and feeling so bad that I can't do anything. I wanted to take my medicine, but I was too weak to get my medicine and water. So I would lay on my bed feeling really helpless and sick, until I can't bear it anymore and struggle up to get my medicine. It was the most horrible feeling ever. It' like you really want someone there to just help you that little bit, but no one was there.
When I told my mum on MSN that I feel really bad (when I was feeling a little better to use the computer), she asked me why no one took care of me. To say the very honest truth, that is what I wondered too. I feel myself crying out so badly for the person who would just help me take my medicine when I really need it. But there was no one. But then, I know very practically that everyone is busy, and to have someone take care of me at the very high risk of me passing my flu on to them is really asking a lot of friends that I'm not very close with. I think it would even be difficult for close friends. I don't like telling people I have the flu, because I know they'll be scared of me passing it on to them.
So it's all good now that I've recovered, though not fully. But somehow, I could never get over that period of intense loneliness when the world was so painful and difficult to bear and I only had myself. Honestly saying, I myself is not very sympathetic to sick people (I mean as in minor illnesses such as flu, not the major ones) because I think it's just a small thing and nothing much to worry about. So I also know that putting myself into other people's shoes, I would not have cared much for that person since he/she's going to get well sooner or later. So I do not blame anyone because I don't expect it out of myself.
But it has really been a very bad week, and really delayed me in a lot of things. I hope the rest of the semester I can be healthy and do what I want to do.